Related: 7 Reasons Why Laughter Makes You More Productive () You’re welcome to come here, except my beds from Ikea so it’s more unstable than i am. I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch. Pakalu PapitoĮverything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it. If you are hotter than me it means I’m cooler than you. I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice. I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them. Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time. I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. Joan Rivers (.uk)įunny Quotes From Pinterest, Reddit, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes. Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it. UnknownĮveryone says to follow your dreams, so I went back to bed. Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. Unknown Funny Quotes That Are Self-Deprecating Not texting back is only ok when I do it. What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’? Unknown We’re feeding each other like baby birds. You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music. If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower. UnknownĬonfidence is 10% work and 90% delusion. There are two rules in life: 1) Never give out all the information. Elbert HubbardĪll generalizations are false, including this one. The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means. Zach Galifianakisĭo not take life too seriously. I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. One-liners, short funny quotes, sayings, thoughts, and captions for your bio, social status, self-talk, motto, mantra, signs, posters, wallpapers, and backgrounds. Funny Quotes That ARE… Short Funny Quotes And Humorous Lines If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld Part 2. Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. If you’re too open-minded your brains will fall out. I would rather lose you than the argument. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I don’t understand why people would want to get rid of pigeons. That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
Mark TwainĪ lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. They’re either selling something or not very bright. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. Bill Murray I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I invite you to STOP, take a break, and enjoy a funny video or show of one of your favorite comedian. Most of us, myself included, are always living the next-thing-next-thing-next-thing, without stopping. With the seriousness and busyness of modern life, it’s too easy to forget the importance and benefits of relaxing, chilling, and having fun with friends. Isn’t it great when you have a truly good laugh?ĭon’t you have the impression that time stops and you’re 100% in the moment, appreciating it? A few quick thoughts on fun and laughing…
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